First Day As A First Grader

Monday we had an open house at the school to met Landons first grade teacher, then afterwards we went to the mall for a new outfit for his first day. I am the mom that is stuck somewhere bewteen wanting my child to look nice and letting them & pick what they like and want. He ended picking out an Angery Bird tee shirt, that was one size too big...

On the first day of school I plan to always take my children and pick them up & Dunkin Donuts is a must too. This year since daddy got off work late he picked up a dozen donuts and one special oreo one for the big first grader. After I dropped him off at school I came home and did 20 minutes of Zumba, my plan was 40 but I was worried the babies would wake up and I wouldn't hear them with my saucy music pumping! Of course after I stop and check on the kids they are still sound asleep and didn't wake up for another 45 minutes. Since I had time to kill I cleaned out the large toy box in our living room which sent me on a cleaning spree. My house wasn't too bad but I cleaned top to bottom of the living, dining room, kitchen & hallway. The calorie counter on my phone said that I burnt well over 350 calories well cleaning! It was win win...I not only get a nice clean house but a good burn too!

Another tradition I hope to keep is dinner out after the first day. We ate at Texas Road House. A total diet killer right? Nope. I got the kabob with a side of veggies and a sweet potato (it was loaded but I scooped all of that stuff off and let the kids eat it!) After dinner we went the county fair which was a great lower body exerise since I we parked at the bottom of a huge hill and I had to push the kids in the double stroller to the top. I thought I was going to die. There wasn't much things for the kids to do. Landon was just a few inches too tall for the kids rides and too scared of the adult rides. Emily had a blast on the kiddie rides but Richard was too short and was very upset that he didn't get to ride. It was ok fun, but Sweet Frog would have been better. ;)

Life's a beach

Yesterday we left our house about 6pm to head to north west Ohio to spend the following day with my husbands family. I wanted to .make it a mini vacation since we didn't go one on this summer & school starts in 6 days.

We took a different route that cut nearly an hour off our time, which is great since they are six hours away. The new route is mostly 4 lanes but through smaller cities, it kinda reminded me of the movie Cars were the little towns got passed over when the interstate wad built. I fell in love with one area called Nelsonville. So cute. If I were to have to ever day a random city I wanted to live in that would be it.

This morning I was rudely awaken by two of my crazy kids scream how bas Emily had to pee! Landon walked her into the guest room where we were sleeping because he wanted to help. All of us didn't make it to bed till after 1 the night before so I wasn't too happy to say the least.
We ate lunch at a place called Tonys. Not sure the full story in it but think that the owner is/was Goo friends with Ben Rothsinburger "Big Ben" from the Pittsburgh Steelers. I myself am not a huge fan of Ben but do like the steelers so I had my 6 year old take my picture with his picture. Just like any other tourist/fan would do.

After a few other stops & a wrong to into Michigan we made it to our actual destination the beach on lake Erie. I told the kids we would take a trip to the beach this summer, but when Joel quit his job & took the better job he wasn't able to take a vacation.

The weather didn't look like it was going to be the best beach weather & the lake was pretty cold but the kids loved it. They all went out into the water with daddy and had a blast. Landon was crawling around and trying to swim. Emily like jumping the waves & when Richard got done walking around in the water he sat with Papa and Grandma and played with the shells.

All in all not too bad of a mini vaca!

Great weekend

Friday, Saturday, and today have been some pretty great day. Jesus Fest was going on here in town all weekend and I had today off... Those two things are a great combo!

Friday Seventh Day Slumber played at 5:30pm, so the two little ones and I walked up about 5ish. I got the kids some dinner and junk food while we waited. One of the stage crew who was staying at the hotel remembered me from the desk and came over to talk, he said the bands bus broke down on their way in and they would be going on late. So we walked around some more till they went on. As always they put on a great show & had a wonderful testimony. We left right after they were done because Richard is cutting teeth so he was super cranky & Emm went with aunt Shell to see a movie. They watched Dolphin Tales, you should have heard Emm trying to tell me all about it!


Miranda the cat & Emm the tiger!

On Saturday I worked till 3 and KJ52 was schedule to perform at 9pm so I took Miranda and Emily up to the festivities about 7pm. Miranda had 8 bucks to spend so she wanted to shop! Her & Emm both got their faces painted and a bag of cotton candy. KJ was great, the girls loved his music & danced all over the streets.



Emm & Landon found a new
friend at Sonic.

Today I slept in till almost 8 so I had to quickly hop in the shower and get the kids ready for church. My sister Michelle went with us today so I wasn't as stressed as the week before. After church was over I picked up Landon from his dads house then picked up my youngest bff Madison...if you ask the kids her name they would say Aunt Moo Moo. We headed to Morgantown for lunch at Sonic and ... Yep you guessed it Sweet Frog! It's beginning to become a weekly habit. This is our 4 week, holding strong! It was Madisons first time at either place.
 
By the time we for home Joel was getting ready for work. He looked shocked when he saw me walk in and later told me that he thought I looked really good today! That made me glow! Anyways after he left the kids and I ordered pizza for a picnic and listened to the closing performances at Jesus Fest from our back yard.


While the kids played
outside I built a bomb fire
and enjoyed the nice
cooler weather!

Another thing that added to the greatness off this weekend was that even after my huge binge on Friday I did a pretty good job staying on track. After my nutella high Friday I pushed the kids to and from the festival and stood the whole time since standing burns more calories then sitting. Saturday I walked and carried 32 extra pounds Emily home from Jesus Fest...Tonight I picked up the back yard and did my 20 minutes of yard work. So far so good on my list I posted the other day. The only thing I messed up on was the less carbs and no coffee after 6pm.

It is so easy to be motivated to lose the weight but once its off it is even more easy to get too comfortable. I feel like this "set back" as I have been calling it, has worked out for the better. I have gained a new since of control with my list that will hopefully continue long term.

Refocusing & Gaining Control

I figured if I drew out a plan on how I was going to drop the weight I have gained lately, I would be able to refocus and be reminded of my goals. There are always notes laying around. Shopping lists, to do lists, random thoughts & notes to self, things I don't can't even remember why I wrote them down in the first place. I am a planner, I need to plan and know exactly what is going on, now if I could only have better focus too!


The following list are things I know I should be doing and some how my lack of self control really has pushed me back!


• More veggies & lean meats, less carbs
• No eating after 7pm
• Run, walk, and/or Zumba 6 days a week
• 20 minutes of house work a day
• Aim for 6-8 hours of sleep daily
• Put up motivational quotes, pictures, and reminders
• More water, less coffee (no coffee after 6pm)

BED...but not the good cuddley kind!

Over the last couple of weeks I have gained that same 10 pounds that I have been fighting since February. Once I get so close to my goal I some how lose track and have a set back. Most of the time its as simple as I get bored, lazy, or just really don't know when to stop.

I have never been told by a doctor, but with the help of a few blogs I read, Wikipedia, and Google I have self diagnosed myself as having BED-Binge Eating Disorder.

Some of the signs of binge eating that I experince are:

• Feels loss of control over eating during binge.
• Eats an unusually large amount of food at one time.
• Eats much more quickly during binge episodes than during normal eating episodes.
• Eats when depressed or bored.
• Eats large amounts of food even when not really hungry.
• Feels disgusted or guilty after binge eating.
• Experiences rapid weight gain
• Is easily irritated.

Some of my triggers are:

• Nutella or peanut butter!
• Stress
• Pizza
• Being bored
• Knowing Joel will not be home for dinner

Today for an example I did really well eating through the day but as soon as I got home form work I ate half a jar of nutella, about 4 pieces of bread, about 4tbs of shredded coconut...thats all I remember I am sure there was more. It all happened in a 6-10minute frame and the only reason I can think of that may have caused this binge (besides my lack of self control) was having to make Joels "lunch" for work. He asked for 2 pb & j sandwiches and while making them for him I just couldn't help but eat.

Blah...I don't know what else to say because I got disgusted when I re-read the above...and for some reason I am craving pizza now!


Tomorrow or the next day I plan to post about my plan to bet my binges. I figure by laying everything out there in black and white I will be more focused and aware of what I need to do to get where I need to be.

Fudge Pops

I told the kids that we could walk to dairy queen the other night, but as soon as we got around the corner it started to thunder. I was super grumpy and wanted to get out of the house so like every bad mom would, I let them play in the rain!

They had a blast but quickly reminded me that they wanted ice cream. Since I felt bad they didn't get any (& I really wanted some too) I rushed everyone inside and started a batch of homemade ice cream.

I bought my ice cream maker at Goodwill for about $4, it was missing the manual. It took me two full days days to find the discontinued makers manual online. It had some recipes in it but I don't think that I have ever looked at them because I bought the mix at Walmart just so we could make it quick easy.

Of course once we got inside I didn't have any of that cheap premixed ice cream powder stuff so I just started throwing stuff in the maker. This ended up taking me right back to my childhood when my mom would let me pick out Popsicles at Food Land! This crazy ice cream I had made tasted just like a fudge pop. It was too good not to share.

2 cups 2% milk

1/4 cup fat free whip cream

2/3 packet of sugar free chocolate pudding mix

I mixed everything in a med bowl & then straight into the ice cream maker. I forgot to take pictures before I scoped it out...so here is a pic of the left over frozen on the side!

WoW! Factory

I have 2 new addictions. Running & pottery!

Sweet Frog

First things first. Sweet Frog! My HR lady from home office suggested I find a Sweet Frog Frozen Yogurt shop in my area. She went on and on about how great they were. I researched them online and found on 30 minutes from here and since I am like a DQ ice cream kinda girl I really liked the idea of having control and getting I wanted!

So I talked my hubby into a trip to Morgantown, I had to promise Sonic for dinner...but I talked him into it! Believe me I was pretty excited for Sonic myself. Even after looking over the menu and nutritional info on line pretty much all day I still talked myself out of the "healthier" options and got the guacamole dog. Oh man was it worth all 400 and 80 some calories in it. It was good, and just enough to really make me crave something sweet IE: Sweet Frog.

When we got there the line was about 3 stores up into the shopping plaza! No Joke. They were crazy busy and I wasn't about to stand in line that night. It was dark, kinda cold, and wet from the huge down pour earlier that evening.

 So the next day we headed back to Morgantown. First we went to The WOW! Factory, had dinner at Crackle Barrel, then went back to Sweet Frog. It was so worth it. I was in love with the toppings. The flavors we good but I would have like to seen more sugar free options.

I choose a 12oz cup with about 3oz of sugar free vanilla and 3oz of cappuccino topped with blueberries, strawberries, shredded coconut, and almonds. OH MY WORD! I could have eat triple that amount because it was so good.

Next time we go up I am going to double the amount of the vanilla and try a different flavor with it and more of each of the toppings. My mouth is watering just thinking about the goodness.

Katie from the blog Runs For Cookies always treats herself to a special treat after her long runs...and I think if I ever get to the point that I can say "long run" when recapping my run, this will totally be my treat!

Oh and I almost forgot to mention that for 5 different 12oz cups of FroYo our bill was less then $10. I don't think that is bad at all. We can spend $15 on 3 items at Cold Stone...

Best run yet-beside still waters

Tuesday morning I set off a 2 mile run/walk at a local park by the lakes we often go to. It is a nice paved 1mile out 1 mile back trail that sits next to a pair of man made lakes, I normally take the kids push them in the stroller and let them play at the park for a while turn around and then head back to the van.

I had dropped Joel off to work then headed to the lakes, I wanted to make sure that I got there and had enough time to shower and get ready for work after my run. I got out stretched and then started walking. I knew that I wanted to run so I as soon as I had a good walking pace I took off. I figured that I would run 1/4 mile walk 1/4, but once I started running I didn't feel like I needed to stop, about 1/2 mile later I thought "I will walk up the nice steep hill coming up in 1/4 mile." But once I got to the hill I started repeating "mind over matter, mind over matter" in my head. Next thing I know I was at the top of the hill, ran the whole way! I felt like Rocky once I got to the top of that darn hill. I started shouting "Thank you Jesus!" and throwing my hands in the arm. I am so glad that I was the only one running that morning or I would have been so embarrassed. 

The second lake starts right at the top of the hill and it was breath taking. I was in such a beautiful place on a glorious morning. The geese were honking over head, the fog was rolling off the lake, the baby ducklings were swimming behind mama duck. I was in awe. And the best part was I was there running amongst it all. It was such a empowering feeling and I have to say I was quite over whelmed (in a good way!)

I was reminded of "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Psalm 23:2-3

Who needs a schedule anyways?

Well I lied about the whole training schedule thing. I started with great intentions but couldn't muster the courage to do it. The calendars I printed out is still hanging on my fridge door shouting "Go run, Go run!" but being a full time employee, a wife, and mother of 3 leaves little time to work on myself or some silly training schedule for a race I still haven't  registered for.

So instead of a "training schedule" I am just going to wing it. Yep, I hope that the first paragraph made me sound little discouraged and lazy but the truth is I have been running and Loving it! I had to start talking my husband to work around 5:30am after the axle went out in his car. I didn't want to drive all the way home then back to work at 7am everyday so I decided to start working out at the Y beside my hotel.

But then on second thought I have a crazy fear of gyms. I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking about the "fat" girl. Yep. Even after losing over 100lbs I still have some crazy self esteem issues. Anyways, after talking my self out of using my Y membership I choose to run at a park in between our places of work.

I set out to do a walk/run since the last time I "ran" was in January and that was only .7 miles. I ended up jogging about .9 miles and walking .5 miles in the rain. Not too sure how long it took me because I forgot to start my garmin. When I got back to the van and started to stretch I could have screamed when I saw it still said start! I headed to the hotel took a quick shower and then started working. I don't think that I have ever been so productive at work. That 1.4 miles impacted my whole day in ways I could have never imaged. That day I made up my mind that I didn't need some crazy training schedule to met my goals, all I needed was to listen to my body and push myself.

Running has turned into my norm now. Every other day I will get up early and go out on a run. To date my longest run was 2.23miles. I am so proud of my silly ol 2.23 miles. First off it was on a Sunday, so that means I had to get up on my own and run before I headed out to church. & I did it! I am not one to get out of bed early for anything so that in its self was amazing.

Training Schedule

I went to the doctors office last Wednesday for my annual female check up & my blood pressure was 154/92. I am sure my blood pressure was high because I had my 6 year old son with me, but when the doctor came in the office he said that he wanted to check it again in about a month to compare numbers. If we have two numbers in a six month period that are elevated he thinks that we should try meds. NO! I have spent the last year and a half "searching for healthy" and losing 100 lbs to prevent all these things and here the doctor is taking about meds.

When I got home and started talking to my husband about it he said "Well there are two things you can do if it is high, get the meds or exercise." What! Exercise! I will start an exercise program and then quit with in the first 6 days. Can't stand it. I know that I shouldn't but I loved the fact that I lost 100lbs with diet alone now I need to exercise.


Overtime! Final score
was home 9-8!

That's why I decided that I am going to start my training for a 5 & 10k. I found a training schedule here to follow that says I should be able to run a half marathon by the end of October. Running in a 5k is one of my goals to accomplish before 2013 & larger races are def on my 30x30. I have ran before but just like my other exercise tries it only lasted about 4 days.

Today is day two of my training schedule and I have not even started yet. I know what a loser. I got called out to work yesterday and couldn't stop and do some strength training while making hotel reservations for guest! Then this after noon I planned on walking my first 1 mile cardio walk after the pony baseball game we went to, but they went into over time and I could not pull myself away. So instead of walking, I paced the fence holding my 25lb one year old. That counts right!?! Tomorrow I will must likely do at least .75 miles in the morning and then again in the late evening just so I don't feel as bad for skipping my first CW to watch the game.

One way or another I am going to finish this train and work my butt off. I will at some point run a half marathon and hopefully prevent any meds that I DON'T wanna be on for the rest of my life.

Mixed Emotions

If you read my last post you will know that my mother passed away on June 5th. It has been a long rough road since them. I am at peace with her passing and except it because she passed in her sleep & I knew she was no longer in any pain, but then again I can't except the fact that she is gone. I thought that those two things would go hand in hand. I am upset, angry, sad... I don't quite know how to deal with those feelings yet. That scares me.

My very first post was about my dad and how I gained a ton of weight after I watched him pass. I realized that I was still holding on to those painful memories and was trying to hide from those emotions and that was part of the reason I couldn't lose the weight. When I set off in my life style change I choose to let go of the pain I had been holding on to for so long. After coming to terms with everything from my past and putting the puzzle pieces together I look and feel like a new person.

But now that mom has pasted I just don't feel completely normal. Part of me is missing. I don't know how to deal with it. Like I said I am at pass with her passing, but then on the other hand I don't wanna deal with it. I don't wanna go to work in the morning and leave me kids, I feel guilty. I don't wanna stay at home, I would rather run away from thoughts about it, I guess I really don't know how I feel. Knowing now how my emotions suffered after losing dad worries me. I don't wanna suppress my feelings and emotions about my mom, but then again I don't want to talk about them either. Confused.

I guess the best thing about all of my running and hiding is that my sister and I have been sending a lot of time together. My family & I have been going back to church and may have found a good home church. And the whole family (not blood but family none the less) has pulled together and have made some great memories over the last 2.5 weeks.

Just don't have the words

The last two weeks have been out of control. Emotions have been running wild and are quite uncontrollable. You see my mother passed away sometime on Tuesday, June the 5th. We found her about 5pm that evening. It has been a very long and hard time for us and I have been sending my time trying to run as far away from my emotions that I could. I know that trying to hide them with keeping busy isn't going to help in the long run but I am taking it day by day.

We have had a great few days while I have been "running." I will post a few pictures and then maybe I will have time to sit down and write a real blog about the good times we have had soon.

Took the kids yard saleing

Got a Cat

Went to a local Zoo

Saw Jake Owen in concert

Rode a Donkey... :)

Oatmeal Indecision

It's almost sad how much I love oatmeal, but it is def one of my favorite foods. There are endless ways to eat your oatmeal! It's so diverse, you can add just about anything to it, and it's good for you.

Last night we went to the grocery store to restock our oatmeal items and get junk food! We picked up old fashion oats, coconut flakes, dark chocolate, apples, raisins, nuts, vanilla almond milk, frozen blue berries...just to name a few items in our cart. So this morning I had a really hard time picking my add in items. I always use 1/2 cup of the oats and a coffee cup full of water (sometimes 1/2 water 1/2 almond milk) then I pick my add ins. I really wanted to do something with the chocolate & coconut, but it had been so long since I had put raisins in my oatmeal...so I went with a bowl of apple cinnamon raisin oatmeal. Hmmm, It was so good. I just added 1/8 cup of raisins & some cinnamon about half way through the cooking time then added the chopped apple for a nice texture. Delish! And the best part is it was all under 300 calories.

Oh and just as a little side note, when I talk of my love for oatmeal...it is the good old kind that you cook on the stove. I don't do the instant oatmeal's. There is too much sugar and junk in there. If you make it your self and ad the add ins you will have a much larger serving with just about the same amount of calories.

Few of the health benefits of eating oats

Helps with weight loss: It acts as a filler and also provides more energy as compared to other carbohydrate diets.
Absorbs Cholesterol: Oatmeal helps in keeping the level of cholesterol in check. It acts as absorbents of cholesterol.
Prevents Heart Diseases:  The presence of nutrients like calcium, Vitamins A and B and iron keeps the heart in a sound state & reduces the risk of heart diseases.
Controls Glucose and Insulin Levels: The consumption of oats helps in controlling the level of insulin and glucose in the blood.
Reduces Cancer Risk: The phytochemicals present in the oats help in reducing the risk of cancer. The insoluble fibers contained in this high fiber diet are helpful in reducing the carcinogens present in the gastrointestinal tract.
Effects the Nervous System Positively: The presence of magnesium, potassium and calcium along with B-complex vitamins are useful for the health of the nervous system.
Acts as Anti-depressant: Oats work as an anti-depressant and help in keeping the mind calm. Consumption of unrefined oatmeal is said to reduce stress, while cooked oats helps to get rid of fats.
High-fiber Content: The high fiber content in oats helps in reducing problems like constipation.
Enhances Athletic Performance: The oats are known for altering the metabolism and enhancing the performance if ate before physical activity.
Induces Longevity: Oatmeal is useful for maintaining the general health and increasing longevity.
Helpful in Healing: The beta glucan present in the oats helps in fast healing by speeding up the response to infection.

Better late then never

*I started writing this post on Monday and never sat down to finish it. Sorry its boring!

Alot has went on over this Memorial Day weekend, but nothing that I felt was important enough to share right then. Friday Landon went to spend the week with his dad. It is so hard sending that little guy over there, but I don't feel like I have much choice & really don't wanna stir the pot. After he left on Friday we set up the baby pool for the little ones. Miranda came out and played with them while mommy got her tan on! Joel headed out to Starbucks for some teas and cake pops and got pulled over by the cops. Our registration was dead on the van and he didn't have his seat belt on. Great. That may be the must expensive trip to Starbucks if the magistrate doesn't throw it out!

Richard with the greasy fair food!

On Saturday we headed up to Fairmont for the 3 Rivers Festival to eat the greasy fair food and watch fireworks. As soon as we got home and pulled in our parking space the van died. The fuel pump went out on it. Thank God we were home and not on the road. Fairmont is about 20 minutes from were we live. It would have been a long night if it would have died on the interstate.

My sister surprised me with a Chevy Metro when I was a sophomore in high school. It was perfect for me back in the day but now 10 years later with a husband and 3 kids, it's just not working anymore. It's became my husbands work car. I have put it in a few ditches, Joel has hit a few deer, and the back doors are stuck! I am almost embarrassed to be seen in the poor car, but it still runs pretty good and gets great gas mileage. Since the van broke down we have been driving that silly ol' thing around.

Richard had a doctors appointment yesterday in Morgantown and we had to take the car. I am quite surprised that it made it there in back! Its not that long of a drive about 40 minutes each way, but it was pretty rough with no ac and the fact that the kids had to be put in through the windows. When we got home we were able to get the van towed to a shop that was booked for about two weeks straight. I was so upset when I found out I might not have my van for two weeks, Joel is leaving next week for some training & if the van didn't get fixed asap I would be with out a car from Sunday till he got home on Thursday evening. Since we had to get the sticker & registration for the van and talk to the magistrate Joel swung by the shop to get the old registration and proof of insurance out of the glove box and to his surprise they had it in the bay working on it. Some how they got it in and fixed in less then 24 hours! I couldn't have been more happy when Joel called to tell me that it was fixed!

Landon with Coach Dave!

Landon had is last soccer game of the season tonight. I am so proud of him, he is such a great little guy. I am glad that our schedule will open up more now, but then again it was so much fun watching him and his time play and be silly together. His team and the families met for ice cream a local little place called Toni's after the game. Of course since he is still at his dads this week his grandma brought him...but it was nice spending some time with him and letting him play with his brother & sister.

The kids ate their ice cream, played around, made a mess, received their trophies, and played some more! It was a great season with some amazing kids, and a wonderful coach "Go Fireballs!"

Fat Girl Acting Thin

My weight has always been a problem but I didn't want other people to see how big of an issue it really was. My pride was way larger then my weight. I just wanted to feel normal and act like extra pounds of fat didn't effect me or my feelings at all.

All the stereotypes that we have about heavier people are always in the back of my head. I would go on walks, not to get healthy but hoping that people wouldn't think that I was a lazy fat person. I shouldn't care about what people think but I wouldn't even go to the gym because I was scared the healthier fit folks would think negatively of me for getting so big.

The summer before Joel & I got married, I would spend the weekends at his parents house in Ohio. We were always outside. We would be out there with the kids playing, having cook outs, or church events would be going on. We would go on walks around the yard or play ball. The yard was huge and came to a "point" before it dropped off. It was a great little semi wooded area, great for picnics, bomb fires, or just to sit back and watching the traffic on Route 11. I always joined in whatever was going on, but when church & extended family events I would have rather been hiding in a hole or just sitting at the point by myself.
I was about 200-210lbs at that time felt like I needed to impress everyone and some how make up for being fat. At picnics I would not eat a a normal serving size, I didn't want people to think that Joel's girl friend was a pig or to hear rude comments from the old mouthy people. If some one would ask if I wanted more, I would reply with "No thank you I am stuffed." Then I would binge as soon I left. Or when the kids wanted to play ball or chase...I would but then I would hide from the other adults till I could caught my breath.

Really all of it boils down to low self esteem & trying to pretend I was something I wasn't. I can't say that since losing the weight that my self esteem has sky rocketed. I do feel better about myself but I am still that same girl. I still have down falls and upsets, as well as my sometimes low self esteem. I am learning and changing everyday, its not all about the weight as it is the mental changes too.

***side note I should be adding pictures after 5pm this evening!

Daily Weight

BMI chart from March '11 -April '12

Most mornings I get up and weigh myself on our Wii, every morning use our bathroom scale. I use the Wii just to be able to track my progress with the BMI & weight charts. They say that you should only weight yourself once a week, but I (& my ocd) feel better knowing the number on the scale. It keeps me accountable and it helps reinforce good habits. When I see the number going up I know that I did something wrong the last few days and I need to change it up a bit, when the numbers are going down its a nice little pat on the back and its like "Keep up the good work!"

March '11 my bmi was 40.78 Feb '12 my bmi
was 24.96...finally normal!

This morning I weighed in at 147. Not too bad since near the beginning of the month I was 158. My long term goal is 130-135lbs, but my focus right now is to lose the weight that I put back on in April. I got a little to cocky with myself and how well I had done over the last year and stopped logging my food, ate whatever, and stopped my morning Wii Fitness weigh in. I ended up going from 138-158...a whooping 20lbs. I can't believe how close I was to my goal then I let it slip away.

March '11-June '11

When ever my clothes became too big I headed straight to Goodwill with my trash bag of clothes. My fear was if I kept them in the house I would be less likely of maintaining my weight loss. If I gained weight back I would probably just grab the next size up that was hiding in my closet, and it looks like that worked for me! When I gained that 20lbs back, my shirts were getting too clingy and my pants were really snug. I only had two or three shirts that I would wear because they flared out under my bust and wouldn't show my muffin top. So I once again said enough is enough and it was back to the grid iron. I started my daily tracking on the Wii again (5/10/12) and I am logging my food again.

 I will make it to my goal no matter what! I am far too smart to be the only thing standing in my way! I got this!

A day out with mom

My mom, my babies, & me!

Yesterday we took my mom to her home town of St Marys West Virginia for her younger brothers calling hours. Normally taking your mom somewhere wouldn't be that big of a deal but if you have read my about me section you will notice that she had one of her legs removed this year. She was in therapy for a while but checked herself out of the rehabilitation center to come home, where she sits in bed all day and does nothing. She is weak and won't even try to help her self. So needless to say this trip was a HUGE production to get her there and yes we took the kids too...we are brave folks!

Every time we of out of the van Joel would have to pick my mom up, swing her out of the seat, and set her in her chair. I would stand behind the wheel chair and grab her bottom to kinda move her where she needed to go or to push her back up into the van. Also I was the pusher! I never realized how hard it was to push those chairs on different surfaces...my aunt Mary's yard just about killed me. I am so sore today in my back and shoulders. The whole day yesterday was mentally & physically exhausting for everyone.

Me and Mom

It is so sad to see my mom so helpless, but I am very happy that still have my mom and that my hubby & I were able to get her out of the house to interact with other people. She definitely needed that, it was too cute watching her with her old friends and family yesterday and listening in on their conversations. I don't think that mom really knows how many people care for her and love her...I am hoping that yesterday she saw it.

After we finished visiting & calling hours were over we went to a pizza joint called The Station (as in train station, the town has rail road tracks that are still in use right down then middle of main street.) They have to best pizza EVER! I had tried to go the healthy route and ordered a salad with dressing on the side and took one of the bread sticks Joel ordered. Once the pizza came out Joel took a bit and said "WoW, you have got to taste this, it's the best pizza ever!" Of course with that being said I took one...he was right, it was perfect. I ended up having two slices.

After everything we did yesterday there has been zero motivation around the house today. Landon didn't want to get up for school today, but tomorrow is his last day so he had no choice but to get up and go. When I got home from the bus stop I made my oatmeal. Today it was oats cooked in half water half almond milk with chia seeds and topped with cinnamon. After I eat my breakfast I normal take a shower and get ready for whatever we are doing that day, but today I just curled up on the couch till 10:30. I thought with such a good breakfast that I would be able to really stick to my calorie goal of about 1600 today but, unfortunately I don't think that happened. I had left overs from the station for lunch then I started craving something sweet so I ended up binging on peanut butter and mini chocolate chips. It started out with a small spoonful of pb dipped in the mini chocolate chips...which lead to about 4 more smallish spoon fulls. I stopped counting calories after that and I am determined to do better tomorrow. I am not going to beat myself up about it but I know I can do better. There is a good thing about today's binge...now I have an empty pb jar for oatmeal in the morning! You always have to look for the silver lining!

Make Memories

This morning I woke up just about as tired as I was when I fell asleep the night before. I wasn't in a good mood but not in a bad mood either, for some reason I kept thinking "don't sweat the small stuff" over and over in my head all morning. I just figured that was my little pep talk was just to keep my self up, but then Joel called me about 10am. He seemed overwhelmed and upset with a mess in the bathroom left by one of the kids and after I got off the phone I realized that I was supposed to share that with him.

All too often people complain about "the small stuff," the little things that really don't matter. I often find myself getting extremely overwhelmed with all the mom and wife duties that I have. Like once when I came home on trash day and our trash was sitting at the top of the steps after the truck already passed. That set me off, I got mad and started yelling at Joel and acting stupid...all over the trash. Come on Stacy, really its just trash. Instead of letting that ruin my day I could have just set it aside and enjoyed my family. I mean some folks don't have anyone to come home to after a long day at work. We should all be thankful for what you have & and who you have in your life and cherish every moment we have with them instead of "sweating the small stuff."

I work with a cute little crazy lady who's husband passed about 5 years ago. If you wanna learn anything about love and life find yourself a little old lady who is still, even after death madly in love with her husband and talk to her for a few hours. She once shared with me that the relationships we have in life with our friends and family are the things that we are going to look back at 10 years from now...not the fact that the trash didn't get taken out or the fight we had that one night. Every day you are making memories, what you are doing might seem small and meaningless right now but when you look back chances are that moment & those memories are going to be worth more to you then all the cash in this world.

 With all that being said I think that my family & I made some pretty special memories last night at the Strawberry Festival. We left the house about 6ish and I figured that we would be up there for an hour or so tops just like last year, but we didn't make it home until 11pm! All of us had a blast. We walked around taking in everything that was there. It was huge (to me) there were about 2 of each game, rides everywhere, four different stages, and a ton of food vendors with their greasy fair food.

We all took our turn picking our food & I tried to pick healthy which was a Greek place that had sauteed veggies with shrimp, rice, and a salad...of course it happened to be the most expensive, oh well when in Rome right!?! After we ate we walked some more till we found some really cool mimes. They would act for a minute then freeze till someone would give them money, once the money hit the suitcase they would start again! Landon throw in a hand full of change but it didn't buy him much time...they like the paper stuff!

 Then we went to the rides. Joel, Landon, and Emily rode the Farris wheel, Landon and I rode the zero gravity, and then Emily & Landon rode some small age appropriate rides. I loved watching their faces once the ride starts.

We then needed some dessert so Joel and I split a strawberry short cake and the kids had a chocolate covered funnel cake. While we ate the goods we watched a band perform which that of course means the kids HAD to get up and dance in the streets! Mommy is not much of a dancer but I did join... in just a little.

On the way home the kids watched a movie in the back so that they might stay away till we made it home while Joel and I talked about memories I have with my mom. I hope that one day my kids will be able to look back and remember that each day we spent with them was filled with love and that those memories will last a life time.

Who's that lady?

While I was beginning to lose weight everyone would comment on how great I looked, but I never saw what they were talking about. The numbers on the scale were studly going down & my clothes were getting so big that I was always dropping off bags of clothes to Goodwill, but in my mind I looked the same as I always had. When shopping I still would look for the largest size they had. It's crazy, I would look in the mirror every single day but not even realize how far I had come, my mind just wouldn't let me believe what my eyes saw. In my mind I was still that 260 pound girl.

One day at Walmart Joel and I got away from each other, I watched him walk past me twice then walk up to a heavy set lady who he thought was me. He was so embarrassed that he couldn't tell who his own wife was! On another occasion about 3 weeks ago, we were walking out of Target into the mall when I looked back at Target I caught a glimpse of a girl in the full size mirror that stood in the window. I thought oh she looks good, I love the outfit...then it hit me "Oh my word, that's ME!"

It finally snapped one day when I decided that I was going to be happy with myself & body no matter what. I started this journey to be healthy and that's the most important part. My body was too fat for too long and birthed 3 beautiful children... there will never be perfection or that flat belly and there will always be extra skin and stretch marks. Instead of focusing on what I see as ugly flaws I am going to focus on health.

This morning I weighed in at 149, my lowest weight to date was 138 and I went a little crazy in April and gained 20lbs back, so I am happy to be going back down. In the end my goal is to get to 130-135 range and maintain that weight.

One Proud Mama

Our campfire...very basic

I worked till 3pm on Saturday, about 2pm my babies surprised me at work to show me the most handsome little mohawks that daddy fixed for the boys. After I got off we all met at "the lakes." The kids played at the park for a while while daddy fished, then I bribed my oldest to go for a two mile walk for pizza! He had been begging daddy all day for some Pizza Hut! We ended up getting Little Ceasers and taking it home. I stopped at McDonlads for a Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad because I didn't need the extra calories.

After dinner the kids and I went outside to play. My mom, sister, & her family all live in the downstairs apartment, so my niece Miranda came out to play too. I decided to gather sticks for a bomb fire in our make shift fire pit. Joel came down to get it started and played for a while. He was playing with the gasoline, he put on a little show for the kids... making little fire trails and throwing the fire...they loved every minute of it! All I could think was Stop, Drop, & Roll!

I have a love/hate relationship with fire. In August 2006 our house caught on fire in the middle of the night. God was definitely watching over us that night. My sister fell asleep in the living room and I was feeling sick before bed so my mom took my 8 month old son to her room to make sure I slept. All of the adults made it out of the house with some smoke inhalation, Landon was absolutely fine and untouched.

My Mothers Day Dinner

Mothers Day was a pretty simple day at our house. Emily walked around the house screaming "Happy Day Mommy!" Landon used half a rim of printer paper to make me 12+ Mothers Day cards. One card said "I love Momy" I thought it was so cute. (At one point while trying to surprise me with a card he yelled "I forget how do you spell love?"
We had lunch at a local family owed restaurant, which is normally great but they were sooooo slow. After 55 minutes of waiting on our food to come out I started questioning the waitress. Once the food came up it was pretty good. After the lastest lunch ever my hubby bought us cake pops and coffee from Stabucks.
I can honestly say my kids are addicted to Starbucks (just for the sweet treats...mommy needs the coffee!) After Starbucks my hubby headed home and watched UFC all afternoon long. I stayed in the bedroom with the kids and pouted since I was hoping Joel would have had the kids surprise me with something. After I snapped out on my crabby stage I made dinner, but since we had such a late lunch I wasn't hungry and didn't really wanna cook so I made brownies. Yep brownies for dinner! I thought that I would score some major cool mom points, but rather my 6 year old was very adamant that this was dessert and he wanted food. I tried telling him it was meatloaf and mashed potatoes...he wouldn't buy it!

Ready for kick off, Landon is still glowing from his goal!

Yesterday Landon had a soccer game which I firgured would be canceled since it rained 2 days straight. Only 4 memebers from each team showed. I thought "Oh my word this will be the longest game ever." There are 8 kids on each team & 4 kids sit out while the others pay each quarter. Landon is a larger fellow...tallest in his class, heavest on his team, is clumsy as all get out, and would rather be eating. Last season he stopped durning the last quarter mid play and shouts "Is it snack time yet?"
 

Proud mommy with her loves

They start the game and our little FireBalls were in it to win it, I was so scared that they would get tired early since they were playing so hard so early and they wouldnt have a chance to sit out. They would not give up the ball at all & the only time the other team got a goal...it just happened to be in ours! Landon landed on his face at least once but got right back up. 3rd quarter Landon had an open shot so he kicked that ball as hard as he could and made a picture perfect goal. He was totally shocked! He stopped and locked eyes with me with the cutest little crocked smile as if to say "Did I just do that?" Then once it registered with him and he realized that everyone was cheering for him he started jumping up & down and gave everyone on each team a hi-5. Durning the minute water break he sat down and said very loudly "I am the biggest kid here!" Coach Dave came back with "Thats right so get out there and take control some more." And thats just what he did, he got back out there made another goal and had an assits.

Gone Fishing...

The flower garden starters for Teacher Appreciation week.

This week is teacher appreciation week and I thought that I would make something cute for Landon to give his kindergarten teachers. It didn't go quite as planned since I wanted to give them something different every day this week. So yesterday I ran out to Target about noon to get everything I needed for a flower garden starter kit. I bought I large pack of wild flower seeds, a pack garden tags, gloves, and some garden tools. Later on at Wal-Mart I bought two inpatients. I ended up taking the tools back because I thought about someone could say they were weapons. Better safe then sorry. I then bundled everything up and put a cute little note on it about how teachers help our children grow. It was a free printable that will link if I can find it again!

When we were headed home from Target I drove the back way home in between Summit Park and Meadowbrook, not sure of the road name. Half way down the large hill I saw a older car smashed into the side of the hill and in a ditch. When I passed it there was not a soul in sight (that I could see.) Both airbags had went off. I didn't wanna stop with the kids so I freaked out and call my husband, who served as a first responder/fire fighter for 7 years. Then called 911....I know, I know backwards huh! They said that they would send someone out and to check. I went straight to the bus stop to get Landon and then home to get my hubby for family time. When I ran in the house to grab something I heard then toning out the fire depts. I freaked out... Via the scanner I learned that someone was trapped in the car with multiple injuries & if I understood right one lady made it out of the car but was injured too. Oh My Word...all I could think was that I should have stopped right then & not waited to call 911 (even thought it was only a minute.)  I saw a fire fighter responding that I know from school. I am going to message him and see if everyone was OK. God I pray they were.

On a brighter note my husband bought a fishing pole yesterday, I myself found this kinda strange that he was buying himself something when mothers days is in a few days...shouldn't he be picking me something out! Anyways, all five of us ended up at a little lake in Salem. It was such a nice quite evening, so peaceful. Well expect for the fact that my littlest babies fear NOTHING. Emily almost ended up in the water 3 times & Richard throw his sippy cup and snack cup to the fish. Joel didn't caught anything...he is a cast & reel and do it again kinda guy. I ended up going back to the van with the little ones, while we let the big guys finish up & bonded somemore. Later we went to Dairy Queen. I slipt a Strawberry Cheese Quake mini with Richard...him & I both loved it. And Joel, oh my, he got the sweetest frozen peanut butter hot chocolate. It was so rich and sinnful.